Going to Spain!

So we're going to Spain - well actually we're not - my husband is. His best friend from high school is getting married - in Spain. Marbella actually. We found this out about a year ago - while I was about 5 months prego. I was so excited when we found out - I've never been to Europe before and I really like this couple - so I was looking forward to an amazing wedding in an exotic location and a fabulous trip away from the husband and I.

Well - when I was getting so excited - I guess I forgot who I married. My husband has issues with noise and with - I don't know the right word - but bringing a 7 month old on a plane to a foreign country w/ a major time change -even thinking about it - makes him want to tear his eyes out and step on them.

So, he's going to Spain and I - well I am staying home alone with my 7 month old.

Yes, that sucks, and yes, I am upset - I had been making plans to go since we had heard that they were engaged.

And let me be clear - since my husband and I have been together - heading on 10 years now - this is his second trip to Europe to see this same friend that he's made - and the second trip that I won't be included in. No - he's not awful and horrible - but he can't get past bringing her on the plane and dealing w/ her sleeping habits and the time change. And - its expensive - not that his plane ticket, hotel room, expenses, and new black suit and shoes were/are going to be cheap, but another plane ticket on top of it would have put it over the top. But there in lies the rub - its not that we can't afford it - it would make things tight around here for a while - but it would have been so exciting...I mean we're talking Spain here!

Anyway - I guess I need to get over it and move on - but here I am still thinking about it and he's leaving in 5 days...I guess I've got some more time.

Balance

So I love this idea of work-life balance. Don't get me wrong - I don't see myself as the type of woman who could stay home full-time - nothing wrong with it - I just don't think it fits my personality - but I still think that there is a point of balance that can be achieved. I think that a lot of women I know have it - I don't seem to.

I am trying to figure out how you can balance your life - when you spend - 8-10 hours a day at work/commuting and then you come home - but you can't relax when you come home because you have a husband and a child at home who want/need your attention. Specifically - once I get home I have about 1 and 1/2 hours w/ my daughter before she falls asleep - time that I should be spending w/ her so that she doesn't begin to think that her grandmother and the "daycare" lady are her "real" moms.

That being said - once I have gone through the task of getting her to sleep, finally get some dinner and have time to do me things - its' 8:30. So now - I go to be around 10 - I have 1 and 1/2 hours of time to do things that I need to do.

And what I NEED to do and what I want or end up doing are 2 different things. I need to clean my bathroom and scrub the tub, I need to iron my work clothes for the next day, drop off my dry cleaning and go grocery shopping. I need to pick up the books at the library and plan the weekend for my daughter. I need to call back some friends and make plans, I need to get a workout in.

I wind up watching t.v or blogging or posting to Mom's boards on the computer. I have no balance. I want to be working out, and besides the bad back the other draw away from the treadmill is - the t.v.

T.V. is great - but it also sucks - it is sucking the brain right out of my head. How many seasons of America's Next Top Model can I watch before I decide that it sucks. How many episodes of General Hospital do I need to watch (on TIVO of course) before I decide that I don't care if Emily and Nicolas wind up together...

I have these dreams of being an intellectual - but in reality I am a crap t.v watcher. No wonder the advertising business is so huge!

Yeah!

So, darling daughter slept through the WHOLE night last night. Yep - from 7:30 is or so to 7:00am - and that was w/ a feeding at 6:30am - she ate and slept right through it. My DH said that she was still asleep when they went to leave - so he put her in the carseat and took her to our daycare lady's house in her PJ's.

So -that's the good news!

The bad news - well...not sure I am happy w/ my job right now - things just aren't what I want them to be - so right after I finish this I am going to apply for another job w/in my company - but something that will bring me back to my education roots of public policy...we'll see... wish me luck...