Balance

So I love this idea of work-life balance. Don't get me wrong - I don't see myself as the type of woman who could stay home full-time - nothing wrong with it - I just don't think it fits my personality - but I still think that there is a point of balance that can be achieved. I think that a lot of women I know have it - I don't seem to.

I am trying to figure out how you can balance your life - when you spend - 8-10 hours a day at work/commuting and then you come home - but you can't relax when you come home because you have a husband and a child at home who want/need your attention. Specifically - once I get home I have about 1 and 1/2 hours w/ my daughter before she falls asleep - time that I should be spending w/ her so that she doesn't begin to think that her grandmother and the "daycare" lady are her "real" moms.

That being said - once I have gone through the task of getting her to sleep, finally get some dinner and have time to do me things - its' 8:30. So now - I go to be around 10 - I have 1 and 1/2 hours of time to do things that I need to do.

And what I NEED to do and what I want or end up doing are 2 different things. I need to clean my bathroom and scrub the tub, I need to iron my work clothes for the next day, drop off my dry cleaning and go grocery shopping. I need to pick up the books at the library and plan the weekend for my daughter. I need to call back some friends and make plans, I need to get a workout in.

I wind up watching t.v or blogging or posting to Mom's boards on the computer. I have no balance. I want to be working out, and besides the bad back the other draw away from the treadmill is - the t.v.

T.V. is great - but it also sucks - it is sucking the brain right out of my head. How many seasons of America's Next Top Model can I watch before I decide that it sucks. How many episodes of General Hospital do I need to watch (on TIVO of course) before I decide that I don't care if Emily and Nicolas wind up together...

I have these dreams of being an intellectual - but in reality I am a crap t.v watcher. No wonder the advertising business is so huge!

Friends

My parents came to visit today. They live about 2 hours away and they are making an effort to come and visit us once a month so that they don't become strangers to our darling daughter. So, my mother came and she cooked us enough dinners for a week and my Dad covered our water heater and helped seal our windows...it was nice. I also got a break and went out to brunch w/a friend since my husband was working all weekend and I didn't get to see much of him - which meant that I was with baby girl all weekend (which don't get me wrong - I enjoy, but even the best of Mom's need 2 hours w/o their baby girls/boys).

So we went out to brunch - and just had girl time! It was great. I can't believe how much I miss just hanging out w/ the girls and how much more special it makes coming home to a cooing giggling baby girl. Of course she wasn't cooing or giggling this time, but crying her head off - something was going on w/ her today and I feel really bad for my parents because she is normally a really great baby - but today she just had a bad day and wasn't having any of it. Alas, all babies have their bad days right??

Book Club

So, I joined a book club. Yes, me - joining something. And before you say it, yes I did "join" 2 on-line Mom's clubs, but that is different because it's on line - you don't have to do anything that you don't want to, you don't even have to meet the people if you don't want to. A book club however is a different story. You have to get together with the group and read something that is decided by consensus...not typically my cup of tea. But, I have found a group of women that I think I will enjoy being with and if I read a book that I really don't like - what is the harm in that right?

Guess I am just trying to figure out what about having had a baby has made me into someone who would become a joiner. Have I changed that much?

Muffin Top

I have this thing called muffin top since my daughter was born - it's when your stomach grows over the top of your pants - strongly resembling a muffin top! I am trying to get rid of it - but it is really discouraging. When I stand up, I don't have the muffin top - my stomach actually looks fairly flat, but when I sit down - it just blobs out and over...I hate it!

I know that it's normal to not have your pre-prego body back after 8 weeks, but I must admit that somewhere deep down I thought that I would. I thought that I could do something different that would put me in perfect shape as soon as she came out.

Alas - that is one more thing that I was wrong about.

And it's all my fault. While I was pregnant I was too worried about something happening to my baby so I didn't work out after about 8 weeks. Now I am paying for that - although I guess since she came out healthy and I had a healthy pregnancy that I should be too upset about it - but I think that I was a little obsessive about not working out - I just had a lot of anxiety about having something happen to the pregnancy or the baby - now I am worried that I won't ever get my body back!

So I have gone to the gym the past 3 days and although it hurts it makes me feel like I am doing something to help with the problem...I just hope it helps!!!

Sex and the 7 Week Old

Last night my husband tried to pick me up by cooking dinner and running out to get movies. Well, he ran out to get the wax paper I needed to make the chocolate covered gummy bears that we'll give out as a holiday gift - but he also picked up some movies as a surprise.

It was really sweet - we were watching "The OH in OHio" with Parker Posey, Paul Rudd and Danny Devito...and he started to get a bit amorous. Our daughter had been asleep for about an hour in her swing - which was great. I haven't really been in to the romance thing for the past few weeks, but I've given it the old college try...so I was pleasantly surprised to be open to the option last night.

With baby girl asleep and a good comedy in the DVD player - we started making our way towards each other. BUT - alas as all Mom's know - it just isn't that easy. While things started heating up between us - our daughter started waking up... My husband would probably have continued going - but I just couldn't get past hearing her fussing in her swing - so I fed her, changed her and hopped back on the couch to continue where we left off (pretty impressed with myself if you ask me)...alas - darling husband was no longer in the mood.

It surprised me - normally I would have been like alright and gone on to finish the movie - but it kind of upset me. I was thinking - here I am 7 weeks post baby and happily trying to get it on with my husband - and he tells me he doesn't want any??? WTF???

Not sure what's going to happen next time - but I will be sure to remind him of this the next time he's in the mood and Mommy is too tired to give it the old college try!

How I became a Mom

So I woke up the other day and realized that I had become a Mom - almost overnight. Well, I guess I had about 9 months of warning - but really the motherhood part came up overnight...or over 2 nights, but whatever - the point is that almost w/o warning I entered a secret society that only half of the population can enter and even within that half there are many that don't.

I don't think that I am special because I am a Mom - rather I think I am special because I was blessed with my daughter. I guess every Mom feels that way - or ought to - but I know I sure do.

So I am starting this blog to discuss Motherhood and all that it entails. I will discuss everything from my daughters daily schedule to helpful things I pick up along the way.

Enjoy my journey - I'm sure it will be a rocky one, but I am looking forward to it!