Woah!

Woah...slow down baby girl. Baby girl is growing so fast - it's crazy. The other day she learned to get down from the couch. She rolls herself over onto her stomach and slides down the couch to a standing position - AMAZING! It's so amazing to see her doing new things every day. She is just learning something new everyday.

So - the question is - how do I stop it. OK - I'm kidding...I love that she's moving along in her life - I can't wait to see what she turns out to be - and I am loving the journey. But - wow - how quick the time flies.

I am getting ready to stop nursing her - well, I don't nurse her that much anymore to begin w/ - and I only get to pump about 4 oz a day - so it's not that big a deal in the scheme of things - but its a big deal to me. I like it - I like that she can get something from me that she can't get anywhere else. I like that she knows me and what I'm for - well - one of the things that I am for.

And yes, it does get frustrating when I can't get more than 2oz at a pumping session - or that sometimes she prefers the bottle to the boob...but all in all it is just a symptom of her growing up. And that makes me sad...and happy...and sad again...

Research Pays Off

So, I've never been that great at research - one of the big reasons that I can't imagine getting a PhD., but that's besides the point. Anyway, after having problems with low milk supply over the past few months - it has come down to the fact that I haven't been able produce enough milk to sustain Reese during the day while I am at work and I have had to give in to supplementing her bottles with 1/2 formula 1/2 breast milk. I truly wanted to breastfeed her for 1 complete year - in line with the recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

I thought that I would have to settle for supplementing her bottles with formula (which was for me a decision I just didn't want to have to make, but a decision that others make and with which I have no issues for those who choose or must make). However, I kept on digging - trying to find a reason that I haven't been able to produce enough milk for Reese.

I have tried herbal supplements, Fenugreek, Mother's Milk Tea, on-demand feedings, extra pumping sessions, etc. But then, I found a number of articles describing a connection between hypothyroidism and low milk supply. I gave it some thought and found that I had many of the symptoms that were being described as hypothyroidism. 1) extreme exhaustion, 2) dry skin, hair and nails, 3) low libido, 4) increased weight gain/inability to lose weight, etc. While I don't have all of the symptoms, I did have many - but I found that there was also a very obvious connection between those same symptoms and being a new mother - 1) extreme exhaustion - obvious - 2) dry skin - well as a new mom you wash your hands often and - that too can cause dry skin, 3) low libido - well - you wake up 3-4 times a night and tell me how often you feel like having sex? - 4) increased weight gain/inability to lose weight - again - w/ a 4 month old and working full time - it makes it hard to find time to get to the gym.

But - all that being said - I called my MD and asked for a thyroid test (if you know how deathly afraid of needles I am you would understand how big a deal that was) and it just came back that I have extremely high levels of TSH - indicating that I have hypothyroidism. Which is great news in that I can take a pill to replace the hormones that I need, however, it also means that I have one more thing that is wrong w/ me. But - alas at least I have an answer to why I have been unable to make enough milk for my DD.

Now I just have to deal with the effects of this disorder on top of the other and hope that everything works out well. Hmm...the life of a new mother...

Breastfeeding in Public

So, I have given this a lot of thought. The reality is that before I gave birth to my daughter and chose to breastfeed I probably thought that the idea of feeding your child in public was gross - but now that I am breastfeeding a child - I have a different opinion on it.

Now - don't get all blustery on me until you hear what I have to say. I am still uncomfortable w/ the idea of having my breast bared to the world, however, I see nothing wrong w/ throwing a blanket over my shoulder and feeding my daughter most anywhere. I might draw the line at the dinner table in a restaurant or in church, but other than that off the top of my head I can't think of that many places it would be wrong.

I mean - the reality is that no one can see what you are doing, they can't see your boob. It is only what lies in their imagination that is upsetting to them.

I was in the mall with my darling husband the other day - and he was embarrassed by the fact that I pulled the stroller up to a bench, took out my blanket, threw it over my shoulder and fed our daughter. He wasn't comfortable w/ the idea of it even thought I had the stroller in front of me, so most people unless they were really looking wouldn't have even known that I was feeding our daughter.

So, if please accept my apologies if I ever looked at you oddly when you were feeding your child in public - I guess it's one of those things - if you have never been in the situation you don't know what you would do. Now I do.