Business

So, I guess I should be honest - I really like my job - I love the organization that I work for, but I want to do something else with my life. I want to be my own boss - I want to build a business, I want to make it successful, and I want it to be profitable. I have a dream that having my own business will allow me to spend more time at home, feel more successful and leave something for my kids that they can carry on - I know - they won't want to carry on the family business, but this is my dream so...

Anyway - I finally have a draft of my business plan done! YEAH ME! I am so excited. I have a goal of having the site up by 1/1/08 - so between now and then I have a lot of work to do. The real problem is that I don't know what the next steps are. Lucky for me I have a bunch of people in my life who do! I am tapping every single one of them for their brilliant minds and I really believe that this is going to happen!!!

So I have to put in a lot of work. I am enthusiastic about that too...this is going to be awesome and I am going to show Reese that anything is possible! That's probably the most exciting piece of this whole thing...more on this at another date!

Sleep

So last night I didn't get much sleep, but my darling husband did. And tonight - I had our baby girl in bed all asleep when she woke up screaming - a habit she has recently gotten into. As this was my third attempt at getting her to sleep - B went in to get her to go back to bed. I'd say about 7 minutes after going in and a bit of crying and stopping and crying some more I see his head pop out of her room with a huge smile on his face...he says she's going to come get you...and lo and behold there is my little girl walking towards me with a huge smile on her face.

Alright - it was cute - but come on. I had just spent an hour getting her down - the third attempt did it and he ruins it all by playing with her at bedtime. I mean come on! I have told him multiple times that when she wakes up at night you have to virtually ignore her - you can't play with her - you have to make it as boring for her as humanly possible - but no - he can't deal. I think that he just wanted to finish his dinner, but come on - I postpone my dinner every night to get her to bed - what the f--k!

Anyway - that's enough of that - he's a good dad and a great husband - but sometimes we are just not on the same page - this is one of them

Going to Spain!

So we're going to Spain - well actually we're not - my husband is. His best friend from high school is getting married - in Spain. Marbella actually. We found this out about a year ago - while I was about 5 months prego. I was so excited when we found out - I've never been to Europe before and I really like this couple - so I was looking forward to an amazing wedding in an exotic location and a fabulous trip away from the husband and I.

Well - when I was getting so excited - I guess I forgot who I married. My husband has issues with noise and with - I don't know the right word - but bringing a 7 month old on a plane to a foreign country w/ a major time change -even thinking about it - makes him want to tear his eyes out and step on them.

So, he's going to Spain and I - well I am staying home alone with my 7 month old.

Yes, that sucks, and yes, I am upset - I had been making plans to go since we had heard that they were engaged.

And let me be clear - since my husband and I have been together - heading on 10 years now - this is his second trip to Europe to see this same friend that he's made - and the second trip that I won't be included in. No - he's not awful and horrible - but he can't get past bringing her on the plane and dealing w/ her sleeping habits and the time change. And - its expensive - not that his plane ticket, hotel room, expenses, and new black suit and shoes were/are going to be cheap, but another plane ticket on top of it would have put it over the top. But there in lies the rub - its not that we can't afford it - it would make things tight around here for a while - but it would have been so exciting...I mean we're talking Spain here!

Anyway - I guess I need to get over it and move on - but here I am still thinking about it and he's leaving in 5 days...I guess I've got some more time.

Balance

So I love this idea of work-life balance. Don't get me wrong - I don't see myself as the type of woman who could stay home full-time - nothing wrong with it - I just don't think it fits my personality - but I still think that there is a point of balance that can be achieved. I think that a lot of women I know have it - I don't seem to.

I am trying to figure out how you can balance your life - when you spend - 8-10 hours a day at work/commuting and then you come home - but you can't relax when you come home because you have a husband and a child at home who want/need your attention. Specifically - once I get home I have about 1 and 1/2 hours w/ my daughter before she falls asleep - time that I should be spending w/ her so that she doesn't begin to think that her grandmother and the "daycare" lady are her "real" moms.

That being said - once I have gone through the task of getting her to sleep, finally get some dinner and have time to do me things - its' 8:30. So now - I go to be around 10 - I have 1 and 1/2 hours of time to do things that I need to do.

And what I NEED to do and what I want or end up doing are 2 different things. I need to clean my bathroom and scrub the tub, I need to iron my work clothes for the next day, drop off my dry cleaning and go grocery shopping. I need to pick up the books at the library and plan the weekend for my daughter. I need to call back some friends and make plans, I need to get a workout in.

I wind up watching t.v or blogging or posting to Mom's boards on the computer. I have no balance. I want to be working out, and besides the bad back the other draw away from the treadmill is - the t.v.

T.V. is great - but it also sucks - it is sucking the brain right out of my head. How many seasons of America's Next Top Model can I watch before I decide that it sucks. How many episodes of General Hospital do I need to watch (on TIVO of course) before I decide that I don't care if Emily and Nicolas wind up together...

I have these dreams of being an intellectual - but in reality I am a crap t.v watcher. No wonder the advertising business is so huge!

Yeah!

So, darling daughter slept through the WHOLE night last night. Yep - from 7:30 is or so to 7:00am - and that was w/ a feeding at 6:30am - she ate and slept right through it. My DH said that she was still asleep when they went to leave - so he put her in the carseat and took her to our daycare lady's house in her PJ's.

So -that's the good news!

The bad news - well...not sure I am happy w/ my job right now - things just aren't what I want them to be - so right after I finish this I am going to apply for another job w/in my company - but something that will bring me back to my education roots of public policy...we'll see... wish me luck...

Dating Again

So, we had a husband/wife playdate today - it went really well, but it underscored the difficulty of finding friends in the same spot in their lives as you are. I thought it was difficult enough to find couple friends where both my husband and I liked both of the members of the other couple, but now we need couple friends who have kids...just that much more difficult.

Finding another couple with a child is a lot like dating - you have to meet the person - get their attention and their number (in order to set up a play date, or other meeting), etc...it is eerily like dating - which I never liked and never want to have to do again.

Anyway - this "date" went well - we both had a good time and I hope we'll see them again...but - how long do you wait for them to call?

Nail Clipping on the Train

I have another pet peeve - personal grooming in public spaces. Today I was on the train coming home and the guy sitting in front of me (face forward) was clipping his fingernails.

All I have to say is GROSS! What on earth would possess someone to do that in public? I can't imagine what it would take for me to want to clip my nails in public, let alone to do it. I mean I am a mother of a (almost) 6 month old, I work full time, just finished applying to a 2nd Master's program, am trying to start my own business, etc. and I still find the time to do my personal grooming at home...nuff said!