Happy Holidays

So, Christmas is over and it is now time for the New Year. My New Year's present is going back to work! I am somewhat excited about that, and somewhat not. I am worried about leaving my daughter w/ my mother-in-law and I am worried about finding daycare - which hasn't worked out quite yet, and I am worried about having lost time at work and not being the same person when I go back. I worry a lot if you haven't noticed....

A year or two ago, I read an article in NY Magazine titled Empire of the Alpha Mom (http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/features/12026/) and after reading it I had decided that I wanted to be an Alpha Mom - described as in total control - able to work and parent good kids. Managing a household and a career, etc. "The latest model of mother is not different from Betty but better, stronger, faster. If she seems frightening, perhaps it’s because she’s so unlike our own mothers and operates so counter to both instinct and emerging wisdom. To all the best-selling scolds who say that Mother should slow down, that we expect too much of her, the new, improved Mama says, if anything, the goalposts have been set too low. With the right planning, resources, and work ethic, you can, too, be a perfect and fulfilled woman, raising a perfect and happy child

Now, I am scared that I won't be able to do any of it well.

So work is two days away and I am going to have to figure it out....

So, I think...

So, I think that I want to start my own business. I have been tossing ideas around for at least 2 years now, and now that I have a baby, it makes sense that it is a good time to think more seriously about it.

I have been thinking that I would like to open my own internet based store that will sell specialty children's items. Bedding, clothing, toys, etc. The idea being that I will only sell things that I like/love. But, I have no clue how reasonable that idea really is. I mean I have looked around - there are a lot of internet stores that sell children's products. I have so many questions - how do you manage an inventory, how do you market yourself, how do you get the capital to build your website, etc...

I don't want to quit my day job or anything (at least not at the moment), but I want to be able to make some extra money and to really get my feet into something that I enjoy doing and that is mine.

I don't know if a store is the right thing for me, but I keep on thinking about it, so that must mean something right?

Breastfeeding in Public

So, I have given this a lot of thought. The reality is that before I gave birth to my daughter and chose to breastfeed I probably thought that the idea of feeding your child in public was gross - but now that I am breastfeeding a child - I have a different opinion on it.

Now - don't get all blustery on me until you hear what I have to say. I am still uncomfortable w/ the idea of having my breast bared to the world, however, I see nothing wrong w/ throwing a blanket over my shoulder and feeding my daughter most anywhere. I might draw the line at the dinner table in a restaurant or in church, but other than that off the top of my head I can't think of that many places it would be wrong.

I mean - the reality is that no one can see what you are doing, they can't see your boob. It is only what lies in their imagination that is upsetting to them.

I was in the mall with my darling husband the other day - and he was embarrassed by the fact that I pulled the stroller up to a bench, took out my blanket, threw it over my shoulder and fed our daughter. He wasn't comfortable w/ the idea of it even thought I had the stroller in front of me, so most people unless they were really looking wouldn't have even known that I was feeding our daughter.

So, if please accept my apologies if I ever looked at you oddly when you were feeding your child in public - I guess it's one of those things - if you have never been in the situation you don't know what you would do. Now I do.

Cloth vs. Disposable

Yes, I use cloth diapers. No, I don't wash them myself, I have a diaper service. Is it obvious that I have gotten some amount of grief about the use of cloth diapers. Is it obvious that my mother-in-law how I love dearly is anti cloth diapers. Yeah well, I am still using them - and the daycare even said that they would take her w/ cloth diapers so I guess that's a sign of the times.

I am not sure that I like cloth diapers - sometimes I think that using disposables would be easier - sometimes I think they have the same level of difficulty - it depends on the day. The only thing I don't like is having to put on the vinyl panties - today I forgot and while we were sleeping she peed on her pants - I woke up to a warm hand - I guess it could have been worse - but all because I was to tired to remember to put on her vinyl panties. That and the fact that she doesn't like to be wet - so you have to change her more than if she were wearing disposables.

Sometimes I want to cheat and put her in a disposable at night - but I truly believe that it is better for the environment so why would I believe that and yet put her in a disposable? Better question is why do I feel like that would be cheating? Who do I think I would be cheating? Who do I think would be mad at me if I put her in a disposable? I know that darling husband doesn't care, so why do I?

No clue - but I am going to continue using cloth diapers - so get over it people - it really isn't that big a deal!

Muffin Top

I have this thing called muffin top since my daughter was born - it's when your stomach grows over the top of your pants - strongly resembling a muffin top! I am trying to get rid of it - but it is really discouraging. When I stand up, I don't have the muffin top - my stomach actually looks fairly flat, but when I sit down - it just blobs out and over...I hate it!

I know that it's normal to not have your pre-prego body back after 8 weeks, but I must admit that somewhere deep down I thought that I would. I thought that I could do something different that would put me in perfect shape as soon as she came out.

Alas - that is one more thing that I was wrong about.

And it's all my fault. While I was pregnant I was too worried about something happening to my baby so I didn't work out after about 8 weeks. Now I am paying for that - although I guess since she came out healthy and I had a healthy pregnancy that I should be too upset about it - but I think that I was a little obsessive about not working out - I just had a lot of anxiety about having something happen to the pregnancy or the baby - now I am worried that I won't ever get my body back!

So I have gone to the gym the past 3 days and although it hurts it makes me feel like I am doing something to help with the problem...I just hope it helps!!!

First time

So yesterday was the first time that I left my darling daughter with someone that was not her father. I left her with my mother-in-law who absolutely adores her for an hour so that I could go to the gym for my first gym workout post baby. It was really nice to get out of the house - I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

I was really scared to leave her. Not that I thought that my mother-in-law couldn't take care of her, but - I think I thought that she wouldn't take care of her like I do. I think that noone will take care of her like I do - and that includes her father.

This attitude of mine has to go of course - because I am going back to work in a matter of weeks and my mother-in-law is going to be watching her for a while before we put her in daycare. And it is of course not going to benefit my marriage if I continue w/ these thoughts. But - in all honesty - I am home with her all day and I have learned her rythyms, her noises, her needs and while my darling husband adores her he just doesn't have that much experience with her - and neither does my mother-in-law.

That being said - I left her happy and healthy and I came back to her healthy and happy - and I was healthier and happier too. I got to get out - work on getting my pre-pregnancy belly back and I got an hour w/o the baby. That really hasn't happened in the past 7 and a half weeks. I am going to do it again tomorrow - and maybe we can work on stretching it out a little from an hour to an hour and a half and so on...maybe...

Sex and the 7 Week Old

Last night my husband tried to pick me up by cooking dinner and running out to get movies. Well, he ran out to get the wax paper I needed to make the chocolate covered gummy bears that we'll give out as a holiday gift - but he also picked up some movies as a surprise.

It was really sweet - we were watching "The OH in OHio" with Parker Posey, Paul Rudd and Danny Devito...and he started to get a bit amorous. Our daughter had been asleep for about an hour in her swing - which was great. I haven't really been in to the romance thing for the past few weeks, but I've given it the old college try...so I was pleasantly surprised to be open to the option last night.

With baby girl asleep and a good comedy in the DVD player - we started making our way towards each other. BUT - alas as all Mom's know - it just isn't that easy. While things started heating up between us - our daughter started waking up... My husband would probably have continued going - but I just couldn't get past hearing her fussing in her swing - so I fed her, changed her and hopped back on the couch to continue where we left off (pretty impressed with myself if you ask me)...alas - darling husband was no longer in the mood.

It surprised me - normally I would have been like alright and gone on to finish the movie - but it kind of upset me. I was thinking - here I am 7 weeks post baby and happily trying to get it on with my husband - and he tells me he doesn't want any??? WTF???

Not sure what's going to happen next time - but I will be sure to remind him of this the next time he's in the mood and Mommy is too tired to give it the old college try!

Nursery Furniture

So, I've learned a few things along this journey of pregnancy into motherhood and I thought I would share a little bit that I learned about nursery furniture. Just my experiences...

When my husband and I were searching for furnishings for our daughters room we were introduced to the world of baby furniture. New baby furniture is the largest expense that you will incur while decorating a nursery.

Be very careful when choosing your baby furniture. There are safety issues that must be addressed by the manufacturer. Things like - do the drawers have safety latches so that they don't fall out on their own and potentially onto a small child. Is the piece weighted properly so that it won't fall over. Are there built in safety measures - brackets to hold pieces to the wall, etc.

There is also the fun part of choosing furniture pieces - getting your nursery to look just the way you want it to. We went with Natart furniture - and I am ecstatic over the quality. There is obviously a lot of effort that goes into making each of these pieces. We have the Theo crib and six drawer dresser set in Walnut (http://www.natartfurniture.com/en/collections_theo.asp). They are gorgeous. You can find their furniture at quality juvenile furniture stores and at
http://www.natartfurniture.com/.

Tips - while we love the furniture pieces we got from Natart - we didn't want to blow the budget so we bought an unfinished bookshelf and stained it the same color as the crib and dresser. You can't tell that it was not part of the set and we saved ourselves hundreds of dollars. We bought 6 brown wicker baskets with cloth liners and left one shelf empty for books and toys - it looks great! The baskets are great for holding all of those little things that don't have a place to go - nail clippers, bath supplies, rattles, etc.

Also - we are using the dresser as a changing table - this tip is great for those with small rooms and no extra room for a separate changing table. Just be careful that your changing pad is safely secured to the dresser!!

If you don't want to buy new furniture for the nursery - take a look at local auctions - you might be able to find a furniture store going out of business and you can get items at a highly discounted cost. Also sites like Craig's list are great for finding baby stuff, so take a look before you take the plunge on new furniture - you can always re-purpose something that has been used before!

Becoming a Joiner

Before I was a mother I rarely joined any group that wasn't work related. In the 7 weeks since I have become a mother I find myself looking for groups to join. The groups I am interested in are typically groups of women talking about their kids. It never occurred to me prior to gaining the title of Mom that I would want to talk to other women about their kids - but I have found it to be helpful.

I have joined one group in particular - Main Line Mom's - on Yahoo - that I find fascinating. There are about 50 or so women - all from the Main Line - who get on line and post comments, questions and concerns relating to their children, motherhood, etc. I really enjoy seeing that other people are having the same issues that I am having - and I also like the fact that I now know 50 other women w/ children that I can call on when I have an issue or concern.

However, interestingly enough - I have found that this group of women - like most groups that I have associated with - has its issues with being nice to each other. In response to a post that one woman put up regarding breastfeeding - granted she is breastfeeding her 2 year old, but what business is it of mine if that's what she wants to do - one woman wrote - put your tit back in your bra and try sleeping with your husband - or something to that effect. I couldn't believe that someone would post something like that to another person who was honestly looking for help, guidance, etc. I found it interesting that women - even in the virtual world would behave like that towards each other.

Alas - after talking about this with many of my female friends, I find that most of them are not surprised that this occurs both in the cyber and real worlds.

If you ask me - that's just sad.

How I became a Mom

So I woke up the other day and realized that I had become a Mom - almost overnight. Well, I guess I had about 9 months of warning - but really the motherhood part came up overnight...or over 2 nights, but whatever - the point is that almost w/o warning I entered a secret society that only half of the population can enter and even within that half there are many that don't.

I don't think that I am special because I am a Mom - rather I think I am special because I was blessed with my daughter. I guess every Mom feels that way - or ought to - but I know I sure do.

So I am starting this blog to discuss Motherhood and all that it entails. I will discuss everything from my daughters daily schedule to helpful things I pick up along the way.

Enjoy my journey - I'm sure it will be a rocky one, but I am looking forward to it!